Even though I have a horrific cold, and every time I speak sound like I smoke 40 a day I feel that there is a change in the air.
Outside I feel spring is on its way, as I was walking to the library, there was a freshness in the air and warmth in the air that hinted that spring was coming. Change was coming.
I think I have finally found my inspiration, I'm just hanging about in my room at Uni surrounded by images of things I like which i photocopied from various books and journals from the Library on campus. I like having things all over the floor to inspire me, I used to do it all the time when I was at college, and then for some unknown reason I disregarded this method at uni. Lord knows why as it always helped and by re-arranging the pictures, I see things I didn't see before.
I have to go to my studio about 2 though, as its life drawing and i need photographs of the life model to explore a project about agesim, if I can pull it off, it will hopefully work really well.
I talked to my tutor on Friday, and told her how despondent I was about my work and the direction I was going in. It really helped, and ever since, I feel like I'm on the up. I'm totally changing my work ethic and giving it my all. I'm a workaholic, and i have no shame in admitting that. Everything I produced recently was just born from knowledge I already knew. nothing excited me, and it was just a continual slog of getting the work done as opposed to enjoying it and having fun with it. And that was what was really upsetting me the most. I was bored of what I was doing and continually getting stressed about it being right, I totally forgot about it being right for me.
I really feel like I'm finally having a breakthrough. Hallelujah. And to celebrate I bought a nice tacky new watch and a scanner.
Also, the landlady came around yesterday with a new hoover. I went on a hoovering fetish and vacuumed everywhere, seen as our other hoover did naf all when it came to cleaning. I only did the hall and half of my room when the cylinder was FULL. It repulses me that we have been living in a house that was just full of our own dead skin and hair. I was morified.
But the psychological feeling of knowing everything was beautiful and clean has done me the power of good.
I am having a good day.